what that?
a random photo from my camera roll delivered hot 'n fresh to your inbox on any given wednesday
What That: August 19
11:11 ♥; If I were to make a wish, it would be that I would never have to wash anything with a bottle brush again. No, rather, I would wish for a water bottle that would perpetually be clean. God, I HATE washing my water bottles out. How much soap do I put on this brush? And how do I make it lather? Plastic, metal, no matter what kind of bottle I am cleaning, it is always clumsy. The fingers of my left hand encircling as much of the bottle's diameter as possible, the palm of that same...
What That: August 12
I cried on an airplane last week. It wasn't much different from crying on the purple line, (sorry, the D line), not much different from crying on the 4X south bound express, not different from the backseat of mom's red volvo station wagon. I cried on an airplane last week. I couldn't tell you what model the plane was, (it was a boeing plane), couldn't tell you when we became airborne, couldn't say why I cried. I cried on an airplane last week. what what what what is a prompt for you, dear...
What That: July 29
howdy howdy howdy presented without further comment. what what what what is a prompt for you, dear reader, that I ask you to indulge me in. let me waste a little of your time. what hat? what hat is the best hat? what hat is the best hat on you? what hat is the best hat but on someone else? what hat needs to burn in the fires of hell? send me a picture of your hat! Unsubscribe
What That: July 22
we spent the new year cozy. as cozy as one can be in a dimly lit ranch house in the middle of the California desert, staring at a is-that-a-tapestry-or-is-that-the-skin-of-a-small-animal-hung-as-sacrifice-in-this-airbnb. as cozy as one can be in a dimly lit ranch house in the desert with a guestbook boasting of the quantity and variety of lewd acts performed on all parts of the property, illustrative psychedelic-assisted journeys in the living room, the house ghost present in the eyes of the...
What That: July 15
IMPORTANT REMINDER! DO NOT FORGET! The standard for hanging art on a wall is for the geometric center of the piece to sit at 57"- 60" off of the ground. A gallery curator I dated once said this was somewhat bullshit but not really bullshit. Their apartment was filled with priceless original prints that seemed to be at the right viewing height for themself and their ex-girlfriend: both of them approximately 70" tall. My eyes sit at 57" inches off the ground, 4" below the top of my head. I...
What That: July 8
deface/defecate my fingers through your hair, tress passing. windows of childhood roadtrip ennui, trees passing. the College Board Advanced Placement tests, threes passing. melodies on forbidden acres, trespass sing. a trio of lovers, left on read, three's past sting. that trio of lovers, moments before expiration, three's last fling. one last thing! don't poop on my lawn. Thanks everyone who responded to last week's survey! I have a couple of ideas for this newsletter brewing but for now...
What That: July 1
A real instance in which 10 pounds* of pinecone could possibly come hurtling towards an unsuspecting head is something that would make a high school physics teacher salivate. While I remember nothing of how to calculate anything worth knowing about this hypothetically unpleasant situation, I will always remember one piece of knowledge my own high school physics teacher imparted upon us. The class was comprised mostly of seniors and so following, Mr. Spalding, or more affectionately, Spaldo,...
What That: June 24
uhmn, yellow, how can i help you? no vacancies, the sign to my brain reads. full capacity. at some point during the big quarantine, a phrase entered the global lexicon, or at least my awareness of the global lexicon. "living rent-free in my head" In June of 2000, I was eight years old. Aardman studios released their stop motion animation CHICKEN RUN, in which a suave, Amercian chicken Mel Gibson deceitfully convinces proper British hens destined for pot pies that he can fly and can teach them...
What That: June 17
chuuuuuuuuuuu~~~~~~~~ I don't care about the football, but I do know this man won the world cup in my eyes. The instagram carousel says it all.
What That: June 3
the gender fluid. Men's body wash? Lady shavers? Non-binary hand soap? What do I use when I have the skin of a killer, Bella? p/s happy pride 🏳️🌈
a random photo from my camera roll delivered hot 'n fresh to your inbox on any given wednesday